Sunday, October 28, 2007
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
The most recent evening we spent Wii-ing had us in stitches and with serious aches & pains for days after. This is now known as Wii-Arm, Wii-Back or, more un-couthly, Wii-Arse!!
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Obviously, times are hard but the intense pain has mostly passed - apart from the odd, out-of-the-blue crushing waves that crash over.
So many people have offered to make a donation to the orphanage in Umesh's memory and we that is so SO lovely. Have been in touch with the lawyer and orphanage - they have made some suggestions as to how we might go about this.
So if anyone would like to make a donation (a one-off or a regular donation) please let us know.
It is so true (how ever cliched - sorry don't know how to get the little accent over the 'e') that one can find so much love in the face of adversity - perhaps this is Umesh's greatest gift to us?
We have found so much love and support from those we always knew would be there, those who we knew cared about us but have gone and astounded us with their thoughtfulness and kind words AND also from complete and utter strangers.......... who are complete and utter strangers no longer.
We thank you for letting us cry, talk and laugh when we needed to and not expecting us to when we couldn't anymore.
So, for now, with Umesh always in our hearts, we move forward. We will spend some time continuing to heal and then......... who knows?
Baby steps........ just taking teeny tiny baby steps, one at a time.
Monday, August 06, 2007
Chris sent an email round to some of our friends (afraid we had to do it in batches, we had to share it out between us) which I thought was beautifully written.
I copy it below:
We have recieved very upsetting news that our little boy, Umesh, died yesterday in his orphanage in Nepal. It was very sudden and unexpected. As you can imagine we are desperately upset.
We appreciate how supportive and helpful you have all been in our attempt to adopt baby Umesh.. be it from writing reference letters to complete our dossier (which seems like an eternity ago now) to being genuinely excited for us when we cornered you with photos of our son !
So we just wanted to send out this circular e-mail as it really helps not having to constantly break the news to individuals or tell the painful story again in 6 months when we next see some of you.
We only spent 5 days with Umesh in Kathmandu but he was one of the happiest and "chuckliest" little babies we have ever had the privilege to meet. Leaving him behind was very hard. We genuinely felt he was already part of our family and that the day was drawing closer when we would be able to bring him home to his loving family.
As it happens the anticipated date for completion of his adoption in June was continually delayed by governmental infighting and political wranglings. Obviously he was not destined to be with us but at least, even in his short life he managed to find parents and people to mourn him.
Maybe he was too good for this world and now his soul can find some peace.
Much love to you all"
The orphanage and the lawyer who was helping us are equally stunned and in 12 years of operation this is the first death they have ever had.
Manoj told us that the orphanage is in deep shock and the nannies who cared for him and, in fact, the entire orphange is observing 10 days of mourning.
I asked him what this entailed as we would like to observe their customs if at all possible to acknowledge the culture he was born into and to feel a bit closer to them.
This was his email yesterday:
"Dear Chris and Caroline
we all pray for little umeshs soul.
Here at home we dont take salt and non veg for 13 days, the nannies are observing the ritual without salt and nonveg, and the orphange is not cooking any non veg .
traditionally the father has to shave his head.
every morning we offer water to surya (sun) meant for umesh .
On the thirteenth day we will feed a brahmin in a temple and he does puja in umesh name for the release of his soul.
umesh was cremeated at Pashupati temple , so the puja will also be done there at pashupati."
Given Chris's particular 'hair' style - head shaving is not really an option *rather weak watery smile*
Anyway, like Chris said earlier, we thank everyone who has been so supportive of our journey to Umesh - we are utterly heart-broken and currently can hardly figure out which way is up.
The shock will pass and we will continue to hold each other and our family & friends close while we mourn the loss a little boy born in Bhaktapur, Nepal who became our Son the minute we saw his photo.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
It would be great if you could sign this for us.
Who knows if it will help but ...... what have we got to lose?
Us 440-ers (the 440+ families and kids that have been stuck in hellish limbo) need all the help we can - we're fighting for our kids.
Chris & Caroline x
Friday, July 20, 2007
Staggered to have read this recently.
Very very upsetting but am sure she is merely a freak or at best, someone that needs to spend some time on a therapist's couch.
* The day after reading this, a second article appeared announcing her (perhaps non-too-suprising split from her husband.
** Daily Mail, you disgust me for printing such utter crap.
*** Ms Turner, shame, shame, shame on you
To cheer myself up:
Saturday, July 14, 2007
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Denmark (Mette, is that you?)
Welcome to DubaiDaisy blog - good to have you hear - would love to hear any comments from anybody - sometimes feels a little lonely in here.
Go on, leave a comment!!!!
Monday, July 02, 2007
*My folks'll kill me but I always thought that my Dad looked like Stuart and my Mum like Lily!!!
What with the Handover memories and all - have been feeling pretty homesick recently.
Also having becoming the latest victim to the obsession of Facebook, have joined a couple of groups that are just for people like me!
One is called the Half Chinese Appreciation group and another Eurasian Nation (or something like that).
Anyway, it is really great to REALLY belong to a group of people all of whom are so proud to be what we are.
We share hilarious thoughts of 'You know you are half Chinese when .......' (here are a few)
"when dinner consists of a boiled bowl of noodles, hamburger meat, rice, vegetables, hot dogs, and leftover onion rings... and it's delcious..."
"...when people say to you "there's something about your eyes but I can't make out what"
"When you're really young you have a chinese accent when speaking english even though english is your first language. "
"you can spot another eurasian at 50 paces."
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Wish I could post the pics we took that night.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Few little rumours are drip-feeding out of Kathmandu but we've heard nothing.
The general jist of the rumours are that new draft documents for the proposed changes to the Adoption Law has landed on someone's desk ..... possibly and
................... perhaps.......... maybe ................ there might be some news in a few more weeks.
Yup, sounds about right.
Try not to lose mind.
Get on with life.......
Sunday, June 24, 2007
..... fabulous way to hook up with people you've shared stuff with but somehow lost along the way?
Have had lovely day hooking up with an old flatmate, college mate and workmate (yup, we've been all those things to each other) but who haven't seen for almost 10 years - on her way back for hol to UK from NZ.
Despite all the time that has gone by, it is like we saw each other just last week.
Dont'cha just love it when that happens?!
(*) I think it's great!!!
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Today was one of those days that reminds you that expat-life has one major negative aspect - those you care about most (or rather MOST of the people you care about most) are seldom in the same country and are USUALLY hours by plane away.
Another friend left Dubai.
You make friends (not always easy thing to do to find like-minded people), if you are lucky they are staying the same amount of time as you but usually....... you end up saying goodbye..... and I can tell you it can really get you down.
Anyhow, things will be better tomorrow - or later when I'm sitting in front of Coronation Street with a big pile of chips!!!
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Makes me smile anyway.
PAUL SINGS NESSUN DORMA
Let me tell you - with this one, the tears were flowing within about 25 secs - SUPERB!
Get the tissues ready....
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
(ever seen a Weeble.... or is it....
We had the most amazing weekend in KL visiting some lovely Dubai Buddies of ours, The Dawsons, who moved there in January.
ONE of the highlights (and possibly sweatiest activities on offer) was a 30 m high jungle canopy walk that the youngest member of the gang skipped over and some of the older members had a little bit more trouble with.
There IS no greater feeling than knowing that there is a rickety swing-y, sway-y canopy bridge behind you and NOT in front of you.
Hannah and Chris felt exactly the same way about that darn bridge and have identical post-bridge euphoric smiles - hooray for them!!
Tune in again for the continuation of the 'Laysia photos, followed by Singapore photos including the out-of-control maniacal shots of me realising a 20 yr dream (now if that doesn't keep you checking this blog, I don't know what will.)
Sunday, June 03, 2007
We are very very proud!!!!
Have just returned from a much needed break in Singapore and Malaysia (more of that wonderful trip later).
Here is The Kid showing off his new found skill of sitting upright and holding stuff. Actually he looks like he's been stapled to the wall and has had that toy thrust in his hand but you get the idea!
Our poor lawyer has been hounded to within an inch of his life for this photo - I specfically (god why can't I spell that?!?!?) mentioned the fact that the latest dr report mentioned the whole sitting up and holding business and how much we'd love to see that......... so ..........
.............. they have stapled our kid to wall and given him a Hitler Youth hairstyle (that seems to be what is bothering Chris the most actually.... and he's hardly in a position to comment on ANYone's hairstyle).
Anyhoo, its indescribable (that appears to be another word I can't spell) as to how amazing it is to see the little fella.
Lawyer and Others-in-the-know have advised we write a personal letter about our journey to track The Nipper down and how much he is part of our family already.
Basically the hope is not to tell the Authorities what to do in their country and with their kids but to help them see us adoptive parents not as baby-buyers, do-gooders, or worse Latest Accessory Seekers (believe me, we've collective been called that by some ill-informed and, in my mind, hateful people) but as real people who love these kids, not as second best options but as OUR kids.
Anyway, will keep y'all informed.
HOLIDAY TO SINGAPORE & 'LAYSIA TO FOLLOW (plus photos)
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
Today we did confirm the very difficult news that the Minister and the Legal Secretary have, without any prior notice to anyone in the adoption community in Kathmandu and virtually no one within the Ministry, asked that all files waiting for review at the Ministry be sent back to the Chief District Offices (CDO) to await the new rules and regulations.
This implies that all files currently at the Ministry, close to 400 in total, could now be subject to any new laws that the Ministry and cabinet pass in the coming weeks.
This turn of events is extremely surprising as the Minister and Ministry have openly stated in the last week (to the State Department, officials at European agencies and embassies, a few US adoption agencies, the adoption community in Kathmandu, Child welfare NGOs in Nepal, and private lawyers working on behalf of adoptive families) that the review process for the waiting families was to begin very soon and only use the current adoption laws for those families already waiting at the Ministry.
We are working with other agencies and NGOs to see what can be done, if at all, and will continue to monitor the situation very closely. At this time, I don't have suggestions of what to do collectively, but it seems that time might be coming..."
So there you have it.
Have just woken up and read this and feel like ...... well, dunno, what I feel like doing? Is it too early for a large gin, a huge bar of chocolate and an obscene amount of junk food...... in bed?
It is currently 6.52am.
Head on desk *sigh*
Monday, May 21, 2007
International adoption has neither been stopped nor is it on hold' in Nepal said Minister Bishwakarma.
Talking to adoptionnepal exclusively Mr. Bishwakarma said there is a "delay" in adoption for a while.
He said that his party wants to ensures that a systematic and tranparent adoption.
Meanwhile, he assured waiting families that the process will start 'as soon as possible' when the new adoption terms and conditions are drafted and comes into effect.
International adoption meetings has not been taking place since February. Since then there are more than four hundred adoption application lined up waiting approval.
We are one of those 400, I guess.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Clearly, this has a US angle on it but we, as Brits, are in exactly same siuation.
So you see, we really are just waiting - nothing else to be done.
Just in case people get really on edge about any rumors from the US Embassy, here is the post below. Yes, things are suspended until they get the new law going. We all know this, but the word "suspended" is now in place of "waiting" and it seems to be really dramatic to many people. Please keep in mind that nothing has changed- we still wait to have the new draft sent to the cabinet and to be set in to motion. The US Embassy is just now getting on board with this...The Ministry has met several times this week to discuss the changes with a diverse group of folks. We should know much more very soon.Best, x
See the recent message below:_______________________
May 14, 2007
The Nepali Ministry of Women, Children and Social Welfare (MWCS) has informed the U.S. Embassy in Kathmandu that the Government of Nepal has suspended all intercountry adoptions pending approval of reforms of the adoption process by the Nepali cabinet. The Nepali Government has given no indication about when the suspension will be lifted.The U.S. Embassy is working with the Government of Nepal to urge that they continue to process cases of American adoptive parents already matched with orphans to prevent undue delays of adoption cases already in process.
It is a really tough time and has underlined for us the importance for what we have tried to do since January (when we met The Nipper) which is to maintain a level of control and, cold as it may sound, emotional distance.
As it is we have photos of him up around the place, in my handbag, talk about him, have a room that has slowly accumulated items we have been given - all of which, at this time, is all really painful to look at.
Does one stay optimistic or do we start to prepare ourselves for the terrible, incomprehensible possibility that our little boy may never get to us?
The truth is, we continue to try to maintain an even keel. Assumption in either direction is of no-value and no help - we surrender to the 'process'.
A couple of days ago we received a report from the CIWEC (the clinic where Nipper has been going to be monitored - although this has been more sporadic than we would have liked).
Anyhow, apart from the current 'loose stools' (did you need to know that, I dunno, but there you have it), they feel all is well with him. He is now able to 'sit unsupported and transfers objects'.
Hearing this stuff is wonderful, truely wonderful but also makes us feel sad, sad, sad - we are missing so much.
We are very proud of his ability to sit 'unsupported' considering there have been the 'odd' occasion (in the long ago past) when this ability has eluded either of us .......... Chris more than me , you understand obviously!!!!
Anyhow, this has been a rather down-beat posting (no pics and uplifting news) however, it is a chronicle of the latest stage (stage 2890694705, I think it must be by now!) of this journey.
One feels that one should really be contacting one's 'tour guide' (if only we really had one) in order to complain that this voyage appears to be taking us to places off the itinerary, involves considerable baggage loss (and accumulation) and an emotional roller-coaster (did we sign up for the theme-park option? I don't think we did?!?!) . And finally, a destination that from time to time looks like it is just in front of us and then ............. shifts back several 1000 miles!!
Rubbish trip, if you ask me.
However, we did know it wasn't going to be easy and that we would (to paraphrase from the book 'From China with Love') need the tenacity of a terrier to stay the course!
Also, along the way, we have met some wonderful people we also signed up for the same 'trip' and are at various stages along the road (some are right there with us and others farther ahead and OTHERS really did make it to the end).
The ones that have made it and are clutching their fabulous prizes are cheering us on, whooping away to let us know we can do and we focus on these people.
Next to us, we have our fellow marathon-ers, we pass each other drinks of water when we look like we need it, we hold each others hands when someone stumbles - we're all in it together.
For all these people, we thank the universe, cosmic forces, THE Force, whatever it is, for them.
So there you have it, I've mixed about a zillion metaphors and analogies, share some wierdy-beardy outlooks ............ and update y'all for the latest chapter of 'Quest for our Nipper'